I forget sometimes that Im a cancer survivor

Its true...most of the time I forget that I am a cancer survivor. I know that I have had cancer and I worry most of the time that its going to come back and I'm going to die young. Just recently has it controlled my everyday life. Its not fun. I think to myself...for the rest of my life, I'm going to have to worry about it coming back, anywhere in my body. Cancer runs in our family like water goes through a fountain. My mom died of ovarian cancer, and she had skin cancer. My grandpa had colon cancer, my great aunt had breast cancer, my great uncle had bladder, skin and died from lung cancer. And of course I had kidney cancer. The sad part is, is that they are all different types. This is just my mom side of the family. I don't know my dad, so I don't know what runs over there, if anything.
Lately, I had some problems with thinking about dieing all the time. I thought about death and not living a long life. I went to my Dr because I was having some pains one time, and this was the time around my yearly exam, in which stresses me out to the point I'm sick. I lost 7 pounds that week. But i went to the Dr, and I made a list of everything that was wrong with me. He looked it over and then ripped it up in front of my face. He was like, this is all have to do with stress. He told me, to stop stressing and give it to the Lord. That i need to stop thinking about dieing so much and enjoy TODAY. He told me that the Bible says Tomorrow isn't promised, so why waste your time worrying about dieing when you can enjoy living. I knew all these things. I guess it had to take a Dr to tell me and put it in my head. Some of my friends also told me that Worry is not from the Lord. That he wants us to give him all of our worries. And they told me that death is not from the Lord....that living is. I know where I'm going when I die. I don't know why I worry about it so much. I'm not done living my life. I do not want to leave my grandpa or husband and I want to have a family with my husband.
But I have been better lately. I have turned it all over to God. I still get those aches and pains and wonder what they are...and i jump and google them, wondering if its something bad. Its not a pleasant life to live. But I have gotten better. Their right...tomorrow isn't promised. I know that my health is my weakness and I let the stupid ole devil get in my head and let him tell me all these things so i can worry. And now i know that i have allowed him to do it...i catch myself and rebuke him in Jesus name away from me. I don't want him to control me, to make me doubt myself, to make me thinking theres something wrong with me, when the great Lord has let me live another day healthy.
When i found out i had cancer, it really did change my life. Since then, I let the Lord lead my path for me. I gave it all to him. I knew then, that no one here on earth could cure me. That was the closest to death I have yet to experience and it was scary. To think, that it could of spread all over and for me to take chemo and to be sick and with a weak immune system. I was so scared. I was only 19 and 3 years before that, I saw my mom go through it for 2 years and then die. But God blessed me sooooo much. I did get my kidney taken out, but that's it!!!! Praise the Lord!!! My Dr's told me that they don't think I should take chemo, and that it was my choice, but they believe they got it all!!! Since then, every year, I have gone and taken my yearly exams and nothing has came back.
I have felt like God has told me I'm going to get pregnant. I feel in my heart and have faith more than ever that me and my husband will have our child that our hearts desire so much.
God has been really and truly good to us, and has blessed us beyond measure. We have grown into this amazing Christian couple and we sit down and hold hands and pray together now. We never did before. We feel closer to God, and we don't argue anymore like we did. I know I appreciate him more than ever, and I don't take him for granted like I have.
Please keep us in your prayers, as we try for a baby. That we will have a healthy baby, a healthy pregnancy and a healthy mommy, daddy, and family. And please keep me in your prayers about my weaknesses, and that I wont let the devil get to me.
Thanks for listening!!!

July 4th

Yes....July 4th. I just now got them off of one of my memory cards. July 4th this year was a remembrance one. Me and my friend went swimming and got all burnt, and then came home and with the hubby all cooked out on the grill. It was such good food, and good times spending with friends and family. Then of course me and my friend went and watched the fireworks, and it rained....but not just rained, it poured!!! But most importantly we got really good seats. We went on top of a parking garage and got the best seat in town. Here are some pictures!!

Been absent

I havent been on here, in like over a month. I have checked everyones updates, but really havent had much to say.

My job at Bible Baptist School has grown this year. Its not as stressful, we have 2 new teachers and alot of kids. God is really blessing the school and all of us.

This week is the Texas/Oklahoma fair and we are out there. We have a booth set up, so if you go out there, be sure to stop by. They are selling popsicles and also raffling off some great stuff, including a TV, a mini fridge, a $50.00 hair due with Looking Good 2, a quilt, and a big bear. Its a $1.00 a raffle, but its to help out the school.

I took some pics of me the other day, I was bored. I needed some updated ones. I really need to pull out my camera and take some pictures. I know I keep saying that, but I do. Theres alot coming up, so be sure to look out for that!!!